Too Young For This Cross

I had a four year old male patient named Wilson who had open heart surgery on January 20th for correction of Tetralogy of Fallot.  He  was unstable since his transfer from the theatre/operating room to ICU due to hypotension.

His condition kept turning for the worst. The main clinical  sign is necrosis of his fingers and toes that extended to hands and feet with blisters. In addition his abdomen got distended day after day. He was with endotracheal tube connected to a ventilator.

The sad part is seeing his mother and other female relatives staring at Wilson's fingers and asking questions about his prognosis, if the fingers will be normal again. They had been told by the doctor but they seemed to seek more information from us (nurses).

I asked myself, “Does God want to have many people to see this child's condition?” The administrative staff came to visit Wilson mainly because they had learned that his condition is bad but he continually gets medications to keep him alive though unconscious. I asked my other co-nurseš if we can have a priest called for his last rites, but no one was sure of his religion. This seemed unusual to me. Anyway, we have been praying at his bedside. We talk with him as we take care of him and we had the mother sit at his bedside and she talked with him too.

I had the willingness to take care of him in spite of the suffering this child is undergoing. He is too young to carry his cross and it hurts to witness it. His father did not visit which meant no support for the mother except for other women in the family.

There were days when I could not pray anymore at the bedside because I became tearful.  This is the only patient I was affected so emotionally here at St Elizabeth Hospital because of the suffering I had seen and that all I can do is to make him as comfortable as possible and pray. I could not talk to the doctor about how long he will keep Wilson on the ventilator with his worsening condition, etc.

There was a time when the doctor suggested to have a transistor radio next to Wilson to stimulate his brain with a musical sound. I followed this in spite of his deteriorating condition. I used my iPad with music and placed it next to Wilson's head. I know what you may be thinking at this point but I just like to do what I can to help him in case it will do some good.

Eventually Wilson was allowed to go by disconnecting him from the ventilator etc. May he rest in peace.